Cuberat Canary

My wife is fond of the USB Robot Owl, an adorable, but completely useless way of filling one of your USB ports.

I suggest an equally adorable and much more useful avian cyborg peripheral: The Cuberat Canary.

Early warning system that toxic levels of BS are present.

In much the same way that a miner’s canary served as a rudimentary carbon monoxide detector (Alive = Safe, Dead = Ohshitrun), the Cuberat Canary constantly monitors your email client for smilies, unnecessary forwards, pointless meeting requests and personal messages sent via Reply to All.

When productivity and morale are within a custom safe zone, the canary cutely blinks, twitches its wings, or sings your iTunes playlist via a speaker in its chest (free Rammstein tracks included). If annoyance levels reach critical mass, it promptly mutes itself and flips over “dead”.  After the employee has taken a mental-health smoke/shit break, it can be easily reset with the push of a button, automatically deleting all potentially offensive emails in the process.

I just need to pitch my idea to Brando.